Snap BaNaNa

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Posts tagged "relationship"

Love is passion, obsession, something you can’t live without. How do you find him/her? Forget your head, listen to your heart. The truth is that there is no sense in life living without this. To make a journey and not fall deeply in love, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try! Coz if you haven’t try, you haven’t lived. 

In life, there are many compromises. However, when it comes to choosing the man/woman for the rest of your life, there is no such thing as compromise. How do you know who is best for you? From experiences, people need to work on themselves, love themselves and believe in themselves in order to find the best match. If you know how to treat yourself right, there is a small chance that you will find someone to make you less happy in life. It can be lonely sometimes when you are single, but it’s not a bad thing. You are simply working on yourself while you are waiting for the right one to come along. There is a man/woman will double your happiness, but you need to know how to be happy by yourself! If you don’t even know what makes you happy, how would anyone else know, right? Don’t be fooled by the feeling of loneliness because you know you are way better than that! 

Many of us have thought about what love is. When I looked up in dictionary, this is what it says.

1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
a. Sexual passion.
b. Sexual intercourse.
c. A love affair.
4. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
5. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

6. An expression of one’s affection

7. a. A strong predilection or enthusiasm.

    b. The object of such an enthusiasm

If the definition of love can be describe in so many terms, paring up with our complicated mindset, love can be in many forms. What is love and relationship exactly? As long as you are happy with yours, it doesn’t matter what other people think. They are not the one who is dating your boyfriend/girlfriend. Everyone has something special about him/herself. Remember those drama and comedy shows always making fun of the idea of men listens just to get women? In reality, it is not that men don’t listen. It is just the things that women talk about are probably disinterests the men. For example, some women many found a man keep talking his work is fascinating and some just want to get out of there right away. Appreciate with interests and what you want in life. When you found someone who has the same frequency, don’t ever let him/her go easily.

Break up is one of the worst things to deal with in life. Some of us may take it out on food and some may lost all taste in life. I start to unerstand why parents always tell us not to date until college or even after. We will need experiences in order to find out what is suitable for us. However, it takes some years of experiences to develop the ability for self control. There are less and less people admit that they crave for true love because of the bad relationship experiences that they had. Heart is made to be broken. If you have a broken heart, that means you have loved before. “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” It is alright if your relationship doesn’t work because you will rather find the problem sooner or later. When an old relationship has passed, gain the expereince and positive outlook from it.
"Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience." For those who are career headed, I am sure you will hear some people telling you that you should cut down some of that workaholic mind of yours if you want to find a man/woman. I agree to a certain degree on this. Of course when you devote your time into finding a man/woman, you will certainly find one. However, is this the person who is suitable for the real you? Can he/she handle the fact that you love your work and be more understanding than any other about your passion on your work? The goal is not finding a man or a woman to spent your life with but to find THE man or THE woman. Don’t ever look back and regret because moving forward is the only way to enjoy life the fullest!

Here is one of my all time favorite quote at all time. “You can choose to be happy or sad and whichever you choose that is what you get. No one is really responsible to make someone else happy, no matter what most people have been taught and accept as true.” When you found someone who is willing to stand by you and give you care and support, treasure him/her. Be grateful and positive. Treat your love ones with love and respect.

It is ok if you failed a few relationships because it means you have the strength to stand up and love.

It is ok to take time to heal because your mind will be clearer after.  

It is ok to be angry or depressed because you know after all these, you will find the peace.

It is not easy to keep a positive outlook in life. When you find someone who can enhance the negative part of you and put into a positive outlook, treasure him/her.  

When two people are arguing, they tend to say something that will hurt the other without thinking it through. However, they don’t realize how those words will eventually hunt their relationship. Is it wise to keep silent or crack a joke during the argument? I always believe that silence is golden, but during argument, it may cause the fury of anger to burn even further. As for cracking a joke, well that always turns out to be a bad move because generally the other person will think that you don’t take him/her seriously. I believe many of you gents have experienced the time where you tried so hard to hold your tongue and she just kept pushing it. Here is the confession: For a woman who is willing to spend time to argue with you or nag you, it means she still cares! She is just so eager to get her point across. This kind of reaction can apply to men too, but mostly women.

How to face an argument with minimal negative side effects?

1. I am Sorry

Saying sorry is always the first step, but don’t say sorry lightly. When you realize you did something wrong, APOLOGIZE!!!

2. Forgive

It is hard to find that ground to forgive, but if you do care about the person, try! Of course this doesn’t apply to cheating nor beating. Personally, there is nothing to forgive in those two categories.

3. Do Not mention old History

There is a reason why history stays in the past. Digging out all that old dirt is just not making anyone feel better. Arguments expire by case so leave them in the past!

4. Move On

Here are some options. You can either seek for someone new or work on the present. Which way you choose will be completely sensible. When you both put an end to the argument, move on! Don’t hold grudges, it’s simply not healthy! 

5. Sweet

After the argument, try to be sweet to each other.  

I always hear people saying that you will know by then which wedding dress is yours. To be honest, I never thought that saying will be true. Marriage is an upgrade in life that comes with further more responsibilities. In the past, people see the word “divorce” with such a negative attitude toward it. And now, divorce rate becomes higher each year and it seems more common than ever. Modern people have privilege to explore countries, cell phone to call or even face-time your love ones, internet to leave messages… etc. Seems like with all these technologies, the bond of two people should be stronger right? Apparently, that’s the opposite. Modern people became more and more impatient and lazy. They seek for the quick fix and yet, part of them is also secretly seeking for that fairytale love. To me, fairytale relationship does exist. It is possible to find someone that will treat you just right. However, it requires work. I know it is annoy if your bf/gf pick a fight with you all the time, but part of it comes from how much they care about you as well. For the married couples, it is important to always remind yourself about the reason why you married this man/woman. I understand that there will be many reasons that may not always be simple. But once you got through that holy matrimony, please treat it seriously. It is ok if you found out the person changed into someone that you are not impressed anymore. It is ok to walk out a horrible marriage. But don’t walk out without a fight, which is to think and work things out within reasons.

There are things that are just not workable in my concept of marriage, such as cheating, beating and not respecting. To me, if someone cheats on his/her partner, that means him/her doesn’t really care about his/her partner. There are excuses for cheating but no reasons. There is something black and white in a relationship and that’s cheating!

As for beating, well, unless this is part of your fetish and I see nothing wrong with that. However, this should not happen in any culture. Love your husband/wife with other ways, such as kissing or hugging. Beating is simply not on the list!   

If your love one doesn’t respect you in the way that they should, walk out from that relationship! However, this only works under the circumstances that you respect yourself first.

Dream dress will appear when your heart and soul are ready to receive it. ;)

Love isn’t finding someone you can live with, but finding someone you can’t live without. Love is like a pill. It can save you from your misery and yet it has some side effects. How can you keep having that capsule is completely controlled by your hand. When you nurture your relationship with the one, for example, find a way to communicate nicely, you are certainly making your love capsule. When you are arguing, it means you are taking the advantage of the love pills that you created before. Honestly, we all have our weird side. We are weird in different ways. It is our weirdness that makes us special. And it is the weirdness makes us find the one that best suits us. Because we are weird, we are selective! Love is always a fun topic to talk about because it is such a powerful thing that makes people loss their logic sense. Remember those times that you eagerly want someone back and did all that so called stupid sh!t? (pardon my language) Yah, we all been through that and survived from it. Someone told me that the difference between a mature man/woman than an immature one is the fact that mature man/woman looks for what he/she NEED than what he/she WANT! Many times you think you mistaken of the things that you want to what you really need. Don’t get into a relationship because you think you need one for whatever reason. Sometimes learning to live along is part of learning how to live with another person. You need to know how you like your life to be in order to find a partner that suits you the best right?! Don’t get too caught up by other people’s view on the singles if you are. There is nothing wrong to be single. It is just you are still working on yourself! Love comes when you least expected with the greatest result whenever you are ready for it. :)

When your emotionally involved with someone, you become selfish. You are so afraid that you will loose the person and you start to control his/her circle of friends, places he/she hangs out, and possibly has a life schedule. You want to know where he/she goes, who he/she is with, what he/she is doing. Everyone has different boundaries and this is surly a difficult topic to talk about.

When you care about someone deeply, you want to make them as happy as you can. You wish that he/she can just do the right thing or say the right words at the right moment. Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen often. I understand how much struggle you have to go through in your mind in order to finally tell your lover how you feel. You don’t like him/her to go clubbing or meet up with friends. However, you also know that all these restrictions will hurt the relationship at the end. You don’t want to be controlling and yet you don’t want to feel the discomfort in your heart. What can you do?

First, TALK ABOUT IT! You have to discuss how you feel with your lover. He/she won’t know anything if you don’t talk about it. Be calm and say how you feel and why you don’t like it. What are your concerns and what are you looking for in life. We all know that we won’t want our loves to party all the time. What does too much really means? You need to discuss it and find the common ground between you two. I’m sure when you really love someone and wish to make things work between you two, you will make the compromise. It is ok to tell your love one how you feel. If he/she can’t hear you out, then he/she is not right for you. 

Second, KNOW YOURSELF! Don’t ever lie to yourself if it is not ok. When your love one asks you questions as, so you don’t want me to hang out at night? clubbing? If you don’t like it, say it! At least both of you can work something out as you accompany him/her or he/she cut down his/her attendance rate to the clubs. After all, we all need some compromise. 

After all, he/she could have left the situation unsolved and still do as he/she pleases. When your partner is willing to work out the situation with you, treat him/her nicely. When he/she has a request, listen! Relationship is not a one way street!! It will only work with two people’s minds are in it!  

Do you take your parents’ love and care for granted? I hope not! They are the people who will give you the best in everything within their power. They are the ones who have life experiences that want to pass to you. They never want you to get hurt, physically or emotionally. Trust your parents that they do things for your own good. They nag, annoying, and constantly want you to do things that you don’t want to. However, my life experience taught me that I will treat my kids the same way. A home doesn’t mean it’s a family. A family can be formed by 2 people and above. It takes effort to make a home into a family. Don’t ever think that they will never understand! They are the ones that will try hard to understand you, but you will have to be willing to share! Be open with your parents! You will be surprised how big their heart can contain. Don’t lie to them because they are good life advisors. Don’t betray their trust because they have to fight their worries to let you go about your things along. Tell your parents that you love them whenever you can. Share the love with your family! After all, they are the ones that can fulfill your heart. :)

When people get emotionally deeply involved, they tend to behave differently. I used to think that being jealous is never a good thing. However, I realized that you need to be deeply care about someone in order to be jealous or even get mad at someone. In a relationship, you will be a little controlling, a little annoying and a little insecure. It is not because that you are weak. It simply because you care deeply about someone. However, you will need some self-control as how much you should let the negative emotion effects you as well. Here are some points that you have to review!!

1. Your man/woman’s ex has nothing on you!

Here is the reason why! People are different and the ex definitely has some good qualities and yet his/her bad qualities are unacceptable to your man/woman. Well, that’s pretty much why they broke up in the first place right?!

2. Embrace your jealousy!

Trust me, when someone feels jealous, he/she doesn’t enjoy it either! People tend to blame themselves first when they are jealous. However, since everyone wants to be a happier person, they will transfer the energy to their partner! And this is how an argument starts! Ladies and Gents! When your partner is jealous, best thing you can do is to give him/her a hug and tell him/her that you understand where the emotion is coming from and how much you care about him/her. Wish you have a remedy to ease his/her pain! Only sweetness, patients, reassurance and honesty can ease or avoid the argument that created by jealousy.

3. Don’t play games! Talk it out!!

Many people will just start playing those ignoring phone call games. DON”T!! If you think he/she worth your attention, don’t play games in any circumstances. What I meant about worth your attention is that when you are calm, you can still see yourself with this person! We all know that when we are mad, we tend to say or do some hurtful things to the other. Be true to yourself and be generous to your partner. Hear what he/she has to say and you can decide if he/she is worthy.